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    [locked] KHAOS: Demon of Randomness

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    Re: [locked] KHAOS: Demon of Randomness

    Post by Guest on Mon May 23, 2011 11:09 am

    IT WILL BE FUN TIME FOR MY DEMON :D
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    Castle

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    Re: [locked] KHAOS: Demon of Randomness

    Post by Castle on Mon May 23, 2011 11:28 am

    It'll be a fun hunt. We need to brainstorm a reason for my hunting you. Maybe you being the only one to escape?


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    Re: [locked] KHAOS: Demon of Randomness

    Post by Guest on Mon May 23, 2011 3:45 pm

    I was thinking, you don't let anyone pass so you were going to make an example out of me...

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    Re: [locked] KHAOS: Demon of Randomness

    Post by Guest on Mon May 23, 2011 3:49 pm

    Hey guys, I am going to redo" KHAOS" (I had a new name but it has slipped mymind...) and I am cutting the teen, and the turtle may be a different character altogether... idk. I will try not to overpower my character this time... so I will give him less powers and a slightly less difficult way to die.

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    Re: [locked] KHAOS: Demon of Randomness

    Post by Guest on Mon May 23, 2011 3:51 pm

    And on another note, THIS IS MY 100TH POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOT WOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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    Castle

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    Re: [locked] KHAOS: Demon of Randomness

    Post by Castle on Mon May 23, 2011 4:10 pm

    Example? Hmm.. Okay, but remember, I'm going to open the gate.. and let them all out when we start the story. The world will be invaded by my little demons, maybe the devil himself if I decide to allow him through. >.>


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    Re: [locked] KHAOS: Demon of Randomness

    Post by Sold Out on Tue May 24, 2011 2:02 am

    What I'm saying now isn't easy for me to say. This is the first time I am posting something like this, too: I spent the whole day thinking about how I could tell you this:


    Your current story doesn't even get close to the minimum of effort you need to join in. BUT If it's still that horrible after you rewrite it (quite probable), I will simply refuse to take you in here. Please, I don't want you to think I am some a**hole now. I can understand that you want to join in and you're a nice guy and all, but...

    I wanted a section like this ever since I made this forum - and that's many months now. It was literally one of the first things I wanted to do here. I didn't make it back then, because no-one with any interest in these things was here. I wanted to get started as soon as possible.

    I've made great plans for this group, both in the way it is written and the characters. Our party had a *perfect* size before you came in (Except for Sayor, but I was just waiting for him to make a char), and your new "demon" is just the most shallow character of all time. I want this to have some quality. I take this seriously, and I will not let you ruin it. I want it to have a book-like quality (as far as it's possible) - with a plot, likable characters made by whoever is here, substories, dialogue, jokes and adventures. I want to see the artists in here - mainly Sayor and NKDZ - to paint those epic battles and everyday situations. You know what I thought when I saw the most recent chars? I thought it was literally the ideal constellation of characters.

    That is why I am now writing what everyone else in here is way too nice to say: If you keep writing like this, you won't get to be a part.

    Because with the current one, you didn't even try. I really have trouble putting how badly this was made in words. You can't be serious. You really write things like: "He's like... a demon. And then he cut someone into 13 MILLION pieces. And then he scattered the pieces everywhere on the WORLD. Ohohoh, and he uses like, a scythe which has "TACOS OF DOOM" written on it. And he can, like, do whatever he wants because he's a demon! He's also immortal! And he can shapeshift! Oh, and then he came to the tavern because I'm too lazy to find a reason. I'll call him demon of RANDOMNESS, you know, because all I write is RANDOM."

    You know, we already have a demon - or at least someone with the look of a demon. That role is pretty much used already. We don't need a second one. Castle's character at least makes sense. He has got reasons to do what he does. He wants to find out about himself, he simply got tired of keeping the gate. He is well-balanced and a badass. YOU, my good sir, on the other hand just said "He does it because he's there."


    @ Castle: You pi**ed off the devil himself by judging if he can enter your precious gate or not? Maybe that could explain some of your power-loss (IF there is any power-loss.) But I would personally prefer to keep the devil himself out of this. At least keep him out of this as someone you can tell what to do and not to. I actually had an idea: You are wearing a golden cross, after all, something which is usually divine. Maybe I could mix that up with a character I'm definitely gonna add: Sariel, an angelic being who spent so much time on this world he thinks of himself as a god.

    @ Everyone else reading it: This is my honest opinion. I do not see a single thing that would qualify TACOS' character to be in here. Not one. And with the character's current state, I am not gonna keep him in here. I am really, really sorry to say that. Really. Darn it, it nearly took me this night's sleep and I couldn't think of anything else all day.

    Gloria, Ranger, Sayor and Castle: You really made some great characters. Wouldn't want to miss you in this.


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    Re: [locked] KHAOS: Demon of Randomness

    Post by Guest on Tue May 24, 2011 2:09 am

    So... do you want me to revise my story? or do you want me to shut the fuck up and never write about KHAOS again? (Your first paragraph that wasn't in bold, and you third paragraph that wasn't in bold kind of contradicted... If you don't want me to be involved in the FA-RPG, I would respect you more if you said it simply like that... I am the kind of person that respects the person that insults me and means it over the person who tries to be nice about it.)
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    Re: [locked] KHAOS: Demon of Randomness

    Post by Sold Out on Tue May 24, 2011 2:16 am

    I'm sorry, dude. But in it's current state I do not like the KHAOS character at all. It's just... ergh. I do not think that I will like KHAOS at any point. If you rewrote it, chances still are that I would have a problem with it. I'm sorry, man. I do not want to insult you with this. I really don't. You're a nice guy.

    Yeah, let's just keep the other people's opinions out of this. No-one came up to me and said "KHAOS sucks". You don't have to think that. I more or less just used that to as my own point.

    I really am having a guilty conscience about this already. Have been having one ever since I knew I would write my reasoning down. But this is just... not what I would've wanted to see.


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    Re: [locked] KHAOS: Demon of Randomness

    Post by Castle on Tue May 24, 2011 3:53 am

    Well, Sold.. I'm just saying that because it'd the job given to me by the "Gods" to keep the Devil and all of his demons within the gate. I'm actually VERY weak compared to the Devil, but like you said.. the cross gives me some protection.

    And yeah.. when me and him had our first run in when he didn't approve of the gate being put up.. I did lose all of my powers but the portaling abilities. So.. Basically I made the wrong guy mad at me. He's not going to be involved.. I'm just making my point clear that I'm NOT him. Nor am I Hades, which is basically the same guy. :O


    You know, we already have a demon - or at least someone with the look of a demon. That role is pretty much used already. We don't need a second one. Castle's character at least makes sense. He has got reasons to do what he does. He wants to find out about himself, he simply got tired of keeping the gate. He is well-balanced and a badass. YOU, my good sir, on the other hand just said "He does it because he's there."
    I like that description. C:


    Last edited by Castle on Tue May 24, 2011 6:06 am; edited 2 times in total


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    Re: [locked] KHAOS: Demon of Randomness

    Post by Guest on Tue May 24, 2011 4:59 am

    Sayor helped me come up with a new story... ask him about it if you want to know... and sorry if I gave you a guilty consience, it is your right to have your own opinion. So, if you do not like my idea you have the right to use "constructive critisism" which is telling me what needs to be changed, or if I should just shut up, sorry if I made you feel bad with previous quotes, I am bad at sounding like how I really feel through the internet, like when I said I should "shut the fuck up" it was kind of sarcasm.

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    Re: [locked] KHAOS: Demon of Randomness

    Post by Guest on Tue May 24, 2011 6:24 am

    Character is no good, he is gone now.


    Locked with TACOS' agreement. - Sold

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